Gilded Meals - 04/25/05

Dinner was supposed to be impressive. A meal to be loved by the eyes as well as the stomach. Well who's law was that anyway? Unwritten as the reason why the sky is considered up is unwritten. Of course, a food artist has no business in cynicism but Rooney did. He liked to dress up meals in grotesque ways that were repulsive yet aesthetic, and when tasted even the gods would jerk off to the swells of pleasure Rooney's food provided. Using the encyclopedia of ingredients in all forms, he could create a heavenly taste while molding it into the sculpture of his choosing. He loved a good ironic situation too. With the knowledge of his mastery of food, he had the power to make the rich eat roadkill, power to make poor eat gold coins, power to make PETA members eat rare animals, power to make the most pure christian dive into a fresh shaped vagina devouring the gilded content.

Rooney became a master of confusing the mind and body to the point of hypocracy in his patients also known as customers. The body would smell and taste what food has been provided, and the mind being silenced of any reaction to the shape and look of the comestible until it became retrospective. What he loved was knowing that after a meal, a couple blocks from their secure homes, they'd be feeling the climax of guilt. Worse than going to an infested whore house behind a lover's back, Rooney was able to make you commit sins contradictory to your most devout beliefs. And the torment of being up at night pondering through your head "it was so good, but it was so good" and having a desire to go back for more yet trying to restrain yourself at all costs.

His food was worse than drugs, for instead of physical destruction and mental pleasure, there was physical pleasure and mental destruction, and an extreme addiction. Rooney was a psychological incendiary, ready to burn whatever sanity he could find in his guests. And though he had the heart of a cook, he has the mind of a serial killer bent on platonic demolition. Of course he was a criminal with no charges, and thus nothing could be done but just sit and watch your own destruction carry on.

- Felix Bristol, 04-25-05